I JUST KNEW THINGS WERE GOING TOO WELL

It was like never breaking a yolk on a dozen over easy eggs, or still having the blood running on a “truly” rare steak.  I had gone through a pot full of pancakes without flipping one out of the pan.

I had almost finished crimping the crust on a beautiful apple, cranberry, peach pie-----when it happened….   Somehow, an evil leprechaun reached in and jerked the pie pan off of the cutting board, landing it upright on the floor, but shifting the filling and top crust over in an uncanny angle.  Alas, my artistic efforts saved the product, but placed it into what could be regarded as a “factory second” category. It seems as though most of my baking efforts end up that way.  Oh well, close your eyes and you will never know the difference.

Dear Mom

Dear Mom, Sorry I didn’t write you sooner but my computer was down. Windows wouldn’t let me in. Said my password was expired. I don’t know who expired it—I didn’t. I tried to call them, but no phone number. It said email them, but I couldn’t without a computer. I went to a friend to use his, but couldn’t get into my email, because I couldn’t remember the password. They said It had to have numbers, upper case and lower case letters and a punctuation mark. Tried one, but they said it was already taken. After a few tries, they cut me off. I’m not sure why, but I think it was because I couldn’t remember uncle Fred’s middle name. I have two pages of passwords, but now I don’t know which goes where.

Incidentally the cash machine at the bank lobby locked me out too, so would appreciate it if you could send me some of those Raman Noodles and Mac and Cheese packs to keep me fed until the bank gets straighten away. Anyway, Hope you are doing better than me. I’ll try to be home for Christmas. Your loving son, Junior.

PS: Hope this snail mail reaches you before then, and I sure hope somebody solves this password calamity soon. What’s this “SensiPass” thing?