I JUST KNEW THINGS WERE GOING TOO WELL

It was like never breaking a yolk on a dozen over easy eggs, or still having the blood running on a “truly” rare steak.  I had gone through a pot full of pancakes without flipping one out of the pan.

I had almost finished crimping the crust on a beautiful apple, cranberry, peach pie-----when it happened….   Somehow, an evil leprechaun reached in and jerked the pie pan off of the cutting board, landing it upright on the floor, but shifting the filling and top crust over in an uncanny angle.  Alas, my artistic efforts saved the product, but placed it into what could be regarded as a “factory second” category. It seems as though most of my baking efforts end up that way.  Oh well, close your eyes and you will never know the difference.

Dear Mom

Dear Mom, Sorry I didn’t write you sooner but my computer was down. Windows wouldn’t let me in. Said my password was expired. I don’t know who expired it—I didn’t. I tried to call them, but no phone number. It said email them, but I couldn’t without a computer. I went to a friend to use his, but couldn’t get into my email, because I couldn’t remember the password. They said It had to have numbers, upper case and lower case letters and a punctuation mark. Tried one, but they said it was already taken. After a few tries, they cut me off. I’m not sure why, but I think it was because I couldn’t remember uncle Fred’s middle name. I have two pages of passwords, but now I don’t know which goes where.

Incidentally the cash machine at the bank lobby locked me out too, so would appreciate it if you could send me some of those Raman Noodles and Mac and Cheese packs to keep me fed until the bank gets straighten away. Anyway, Hope you are doing better than me. I’ll try to be home for Christmas. Your loving son, Junior.

PS: Hope this snail mail reaches you before then, and I sure hope somebody solves this password calamity soon. What’s this “SensiPass” thing?

I Heard Him Say "Pull off the Runners and put on the Wheels

I was “up north” last week and I heard him say it. “Pull off the runners and put on the wheels”. Without snow, landings would be difficult, so he did an accurate job of forecasting the weather. High (relatively) temps and no snow accumulation. Beautiful weather for most and unwelcome for many. Sleds and skis, and their related industries aren’t doing well, but the multitudes shopping the streets and malls in shorts seem to be enjoying the respite from typical blustery Decembers.

Let’s remember that, in spite of the weather conditions, the joyous seasons are to be appreciated and celebrated in recognition of the gifts we have been blessed with. So here is wishing all a very Merry Christmas and a prosperous New Year. Oh, and I promise you, it will be downhill-or uphill- from here, depending upon your preferences.

WINTER MORNING AT THE CABIN

WINTER MORNING AT THE CABIN 12/12/2015

You could tell by the twinkle in his eye that he was enjoying doing what he was doing. The old wood burner was consuming oak by the box full and the cabin was as warm as toast on this cool morning in December. The smoke curled from the chimney and floated softly down onto the deck as high pressure promised a pleasant winter day at the cabin. That old Monarch wood stove had been doing his job for over thirty years, and as long as somebody would continue to stuff logs into him, he would exude warmth.

A small flock of mallard ducks puddled in the lake, enjoying what could well be the near end of the open water, the lake having been ice covered only a few weeks before. Old Man Winter is lurking just around the corner, and when he chooses to make another entry is anybody's guess, including the duck's.

Of course, when the Old Man does return, the ducks would simply update their Visa's and take off for a warmer climate, an option not available to all. The ducks, however, do not have the option of sitting in the cabin and absorbing the warmth of the old Monarch wood burner. Perhaps, the better option of the two is a tossup.

HOW STILL IS A WINTER FOREST?

Not much time left. Only until closing tonight and tomorrow and chances for venison steak are diminished for another year. We silently trod to our selected stands, and we are obviously intent on accomplishing our ultimate goal, filling the larder for the hard, upcoming winter.

Having accomplished the relatively difficult trek to our makeshift blind, I discovered that light rain and freezing cold had partially collapsed our cover. In short order, all was restored. From here on, no creature’s search could penetrate my heavily camouflaged position.

The forest was still, the wind was light, the time right. We would hit it right. I did everything right.

My “cell phone” was on silent/vibrate in case of an emergency, but my not being of any particular use in any emergency, it was of minimal value. So, I settled in for the long, cold, stealthy wait, anticipating the appearance of treasured game.

Suddenly, I felt the slight vibration. What could it be? Not my cell phone. Who could be calling at this hour? I dug the phone from its deeply hidden pocket and quietly whispered “Hello”. It was my good neighbor, Pat. He asked if I was at the cabin, because I had left a yard light on. He volunteered to turn it off for me. I whispered “I’m in the woods hunting Pat. Don’t worry about the light, but thanks.” The entire exchange took about twenty seconds. Back to the hunt.

Eleven hours later, back at the cabin and in the process of building a Manhattan, the cell phone rings. (I took off VIBRATE while leaving the woods) “Hello Earl?” asked a neighbor, Jim. He called to advise me that another neighbor reported that someone was hunting in our woods and was talking on a cell phone in a low voice that morning. I explained that it was me answering Pat’s call, but I just barely whispered and hung up.

The neighbor was in a deer stand at least 230 yards from me, but still could hear my whispered communication in the forest. If you ever wondered how still it is in an early morning winter forest……we now have found the answer. And we are never really alone, are we?

I'D RATHER BE DOING LIST

I’D RATHER BE DOING……

I have many things on my “to do” list, but I’d rather be….How often does this enter your mind. The “to do” list doesn’t seem to get shorter, but the “rather be” list always seems to take a back seat for one reason or another.

A recent self-analysis helped reveal some contributing factors in this formula. I hope it may help create some changes that could sway the balance of time devotion from my “to do” over to “rather be” list. My first task was to identify the contents of my “lists”. This was relatively easy. All of the “to do” items are ones that you are constantly and continuously reminded of ---- by yourself and others.

Take out the garbage
Mow the lawn
Rake the leaves
Put in the boat
Oh, yeah, Take out the boat
Etcetera…etcetera…etcetera…

Identifying the contents of the “rather be” list proved to be more difficult. I found that the “rather be” list seemed to be far longer than the “to do” one. I also discovered, after further analysis, that there are far fewer “constant and continuous” external reminders associated with the “rather be” list…

Walk in the woods
Go Hunting
Go Fishing
Go Golfing
Do something with wood
Etcetera…etcetera…etcetera…and more etc.

Is it not obvious that “external influences” would be more prominent with the first list than with the second? Is it not obvious why there would be a propensity toward the giving the second a back seat on the “flight of life”?

I do not contend that my personal “to do” list has overshadowed its foe. I do try to fit the “rather be” in as often as possible---I am sure that will be regarded as an understatement by many. But, the one item on the list that has been sadly neglected is the “do something with wood” one. As I look at my meager accomplishments in that endeavor, I can only describe the results as paltry. This is obviously the result of a lack of talent, if not ingenuity. I try and, believe me, I enjoy every arduous minute of time spent, so it still deserves a favored spot on the “rather be” list.

Rather than a self-analysis, I post this as a reminder that we should do an evaluation of our individual lists and strive to move some of the “rather be” items from the economy class to first class, where you will both have a much more pleasant ride on that “flight of life”.

A Delightful Indian Summer Experience

Starting out with an insulated denim jacket at 43 degrees, and ending with a sweaty tee shirt at 78 degrees. Such is a late morning to afternoon session in a never ending buckthorn battle in the woods saga. The early morning chill is bearable after coffee and pancakes, but the October afternoons of this year have been an Indian Summer delight—even with the buckthorn.

Throw in the clearing of a few dead Oaks for firewood, and we have the setting for some of the most enjoyable hours that can be spent in the woods. No question, some challenges present themselves, like hanging widow-makers hanging high up in the tree crowns or piles of buckthorn to clear from the trail. But our faithful horse, Kawasaki, or rather ATV, provides the services of a mule, in winching down those hanging trees or dragging piles of cut buckthorn to new places of repose, where they may provide some cover and protection for the wild occupants of our forest.

It is surprising how much time one can spend studying leaves of the varieties of trees and shrubs finding a home in the woods. Oh, and this has been a “great” year for acorns, well appreciated by the squirrels, deer and turkeys meandering through. Also, a good growing season is evidenced by the bountiful supply of various mushroom species, although I do not rely on my meager expertise to choose but a few readily recognized varieties.

All in all, this is simply meant as a reminder that spending some time in the “woods” can be as beneficial as a handful of pills, or perhaps even more so.